I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
There is a drunk marine passed out on my porch. Mandy wouldn't sleep with him, Can you please come remove him?
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
Randomize
