Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
this is a mass text: i just made a grilled cheese with an iron and pasta with the coffeemaker in the hotel room. bow before your new god.
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
Well I just put wine in my tea
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
Randomize
