i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
Responsible roommate: 1. Someone who takes a huge shit at work so as not to clog the toilet at home.
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
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