You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
bikini waxes are so much more painful when you know you're not getting laid
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
Randomize
