is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
I blacked out at work again... Except this time my boss watched me throw up by the bus stop and some woman let me sleep on her shoulder for an hour. Why does this keep happening?
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
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