I'm lost and stupid without you.
that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
I just queefed in yoga class and now the old man next to me is smiling at me.
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
Maybe tomorrow I'll be drunk again and can provide you with texts at a more reasonable hour. Here's hoping. GOodnight. Tebow loves you
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
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