call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
Do you think it'll be awkward standing up at their wedding knowing I've slept with both the bride and the groom?
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
I just found out through a drunken phone call that my parents thought I'd grow up to be a porn star. It's kind of scary how accurate they were at how skilled I'd be at sex.
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone’s dad. You’re also like a second dad to me as well. And one who I send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
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