I saw his package. It spoke to me.
he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
she pinky promised me she was 18
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
So much Jack, so little girl.
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
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