I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
Reggie can tackle my bush.
Just walked past a girl wearing nothing but flip flops and an oversized sweatshirt crying by the front gates eating pizza. i just found your soulmate.
Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
Randomize
