Welp...herpes.
Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
I bought beer tonight and got 3 coupons with my receipt. Paper towels, laundry detergent, and Advil. I wonder if Stop & Shop predicts the future or just does this with every beer purchase.
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
Randomize
