I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
Police were just in my backyard to recover a loaded .38. What the fuck?????
hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
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