Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
He dared you to draw a map of the USA on your wall in mustard. You drew something that vaguely resembled a velociraptor eating Oklahoma, got embarrassed because you forgot how to spell America, then hid out in the coat closet until everybody left.
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
Randomize
