I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
Note to Self: No matter how horny, turned on or in the moment you are, never go down on your gf after she had soccer practice.
BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
Dude, just paid my sister in vicodin to go out and buy me a slushie.
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
I need to ask my mom where the drain cleaner is, but I'm afraid she'll ask why and the answer to that will just be "cum."
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
Randomize
