what if every blade of grass was a penis?
I was just told by a cop that my party was the most epic party they ever crashed
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
Is 9am too early to be eating a mozzarella stick I found in my purse? Yeah didnt think so. The fact that it tastes like vomit is concerning but not importanta.
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
You really realize what your life's become when you're sitting alone in the house crying in a santa hat and pjs getting stoned on christmas eve before noon.
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
Randomize
