According to my dad, my tongue ring makes people assume I give a lot of blow jobs because, as stated by him "that's what it's for"
you have to choose: penises or morals?
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
Randomize
