4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
What shirt can I wear out that says 'I may have a broken arm, but it's not the one I give handjobs with'?
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
The sad part is I didn't even want to get laid. I just wanted the emotional connection, but my vagina was screaming "TOUCH ME. TOUCH ME RIGHT NOW BECAUSE MY DADDY ISSUES ARE MUCH DEEPER THAN MY EMOTIONAL NEEDS!" Vodka has a way of getting me out of my emotions and gets me fucked every time.
Well my unnaturally hairy chest finally came in handy. It took at least an hour to shave the american flag into my chest but I definitely went America all over that party
And for some reason every time I get drunk I just want to tell you that I have a mini secret personal fan club of your dick
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
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