Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
I am drinking fireball and apple juice out of a sippy cup like a fucking toddler.
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
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