What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
I was just about to send a concerned text until I opened my door and saw a shopping cart. I'm glad you made it home in one piece and with toys.
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
what the fuck happened to the tacos
Randomize
