I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
SARAH B AND I ARE GOING TO GO HALFSIES AND BUY YOU A CAT. IS THAT OKAY. TO KEEP YOU COMPANY DURING THUNDERSTORMS SUCH AS THIS ONE. ITS BECAUSE WE LOVE YOU.
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
You tried to put a condom on my dog, then he ate it.
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
Randomize
