I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
She unfriended me on Facebook after I responded to her long love note with #demtittesdoe. Jager is the goddamned devil.
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
Randomize
