I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
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