My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
do you have any idea why i woke up naked spooning my toaster?
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
You do realize that you tried to eat the neighbors cat because the dominos guy was 5 minutes late. You would have succeeded if we didnt stop you.
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
Randomize
