I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
I’m getting reeeeaaalll tired of telling cute boys I gave them chlamydia.
That’s two in three months. You really know how to live.
The cards I get dealt on tinder now are karma for fucking a married man while I was in high school.
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
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