i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
You got pulled on stage by a stripper who wore ruffled ankle socks and did jumping jacks for her dance. Then you were put in a chokehold by a security guard that almost cried because you supposedly said "fuck you!" to him.
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
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