it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
We got signed out of jail by an Uber driver. I think that qualifies as a great first night of college
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
if you're wondering why I texted you some girl's name at 4 am it's because you wanted to Facebook stalk the girl who gave that Irish guy we met at the Chinese food place her license and said 'call me'
Randomize
