My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
people are starting to question the shark bite story
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
Somewhere between the 2 hours of sex and her urgently rushing to work she manged to steal all $329.33 in my jeans. Worst one night stand ever, she even took the pennies.
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
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