so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
I drunk dialed my ex-boyfriend last night. He was sitting next to my new boyfriend. Shoot me in the face.
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
Randomize
