I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
She was blowing me like a porn star and all I could think was "you just told me your grandfather is dying in hospice right now"
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
Randomize
