I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
Hey, I told her the bathroom was a "No fly zone" after I used it. She willingly allowed her nose to go through that pain. It's her fault, she only supplied me with vodka when she knows I only drink rum.
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
Randomize
