i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
Let's just have a brief moment of silence for my dignity before we start tonight
she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
You're gonna die alone anyway. Even if you do meet a man, they die earlier than women. Best case, you have to deal with grieving over his death and then die alone a couple years later. Worst case, you get a terminal illness and he divorces you, leaving you to die alone anyway.
Thanks, mom.
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
Randomize
