I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
Just woke up on a couch in the FIJI house with 2 missed calls from someone I saved in my phone as "Some DU Kid Named TJ Maybe"
you make me proud to be your friend
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
Listen man, there's two things I know about in life: porn and sound. On a day that I'm wearing khakis, I need you to trust that I know what the fuck I'm doing.
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
Randomize
