I CAN MOONWALK!
Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
Randomize
