Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
You were so drunk you tried to sell your salsa to everyone on the restaurant.
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
You're a goddess. Probably of destruction and dick jokes, or some shit, but man, lesser bitches wish they could be half as fab.
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
Are you alive? Cause this is my official "im actually alive" text.
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
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