So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
either way he was missing a nipple.
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
Randomize
