she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
I walked into the bathroom and the toilet was on fire... I stood there for like a minute trying to decide whether I should put it out or get my camera.
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
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