Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
The coffee and champagne are fighting over who gets to absorb the one pancake in my stomach
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
I'm going to write a horror movie. It's going to be called "Fat People on a Squeaky Bed" and it's going to feature me laying in bed last night listening to my overweight roommate and her fat boyfriend tossing and turning all night
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
I feel like my foot is being amputated. Or maybe it's the vodka. I couldn't tell you.
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
Randomize
