Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
Randomize
