You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
Randomize
