God I can't wait to have my phone textbombed every night
im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
just woke up and this girl had my cellphone nestled in the front of her thong. i kept thinking "is this a trap?"
I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
um i just went through the in-n-out drive thru and meant to ask for my cheeseburger animal style. turns out what i actually said was, can i get that cheeseburger doggy style? been a rough weekend.
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
Randomize
