The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
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