I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
My mother's day gift to my mother is to promise never to tell her 95% of the stories I've accumulated in my life.
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
Thanks for being the best husband and reassuring my fuck buddy that you're comfortable with my adultery. You da real MVP.
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
Randomize
