I drunkenly recorded an episode of Family Matters last night. I took a shot everytime Carl Winslow had a mustache.
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
But theres a keg here and me gusta
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
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