There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
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