Not only did a random toaster end up in my house last night, it's also full of skittles.
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
Randomize
