I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
I heard some girl say 'yeah he mustve been so drunk he kept mumbling and repeating himself'
And I thought
Fuck I do that shit every weekend
Theres puke in my trash can and spilled beer next to my bed... come get your girlfriend
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
In other news I may have fractured my masturbating arm
At least it wasn't your drinking arm
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
Randomize
