Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
If you're not going to call the girls I bring around by name, at least don't call them by number. It's been cockblocking since girl #47. Dick.
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
Randomize
