Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
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