at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
Wanna tell me why vodka seeped out of the memory foam when I climbed into my bed?
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
90% sure I just opened a snapchat of you in a fuzzy bathrobe next to your ceiling collapsing
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
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