just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
I was hammered helping a pregnant woman at the gas station name her unborn child. We had to try everything with two different last names because she was waiting on the results of her paternity test.
So I woke up with a terribly bandaged finger an then discovered a pot of bloody onions on the stove.....who the fuck decided it was a good idea for me to try and cook
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
I get sad thinking about all the sex I’m missing out on because of the virus
I instituted “quarantine and chill” months ago. It’s not like penises go soft just because they’re working at home.
Randomize
