I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
You were upset that she was flirting with your boyfriend so I thought the best game plan was to show her my boobs and get her to make out with me instead. I am the greatest friend on absinthe.
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
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