She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
I think drinking White Russians at half past four in the afternoon is perfectly acceptable. I'd bought a LOT of milk and cream that needs to be used up. Resourceful, check, fuckable, check. You have a great girlfriend here pal.
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
Randomize
