I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
Theres a handprint of sauce on my frig, one streaked across my face, a trail of it to my bedroom and sauce all in my bed and i have no idea what the fuck i ate.
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
You left me a note that said "The Earth is blowing up. Bring the Rosé." WTF.
Randomize
