remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
Just wore the promise ring dad gave me freshman year of high school as a fake wedding band while I bought a pregnancy test. I think it's safe to say that's not what he had in mind with that gift 14 years ago.
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
Randomize
