Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
i just saw a man pushing two thirtys of beers in a stroller while his little kid ran to keep up. father of the year
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
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