Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
I just saw a guy give a mop to his fat wife and say "Look, an exercise stick!"
Just saw a guy doing jumping jacks at the gym. I don't even have to create a punch line for that
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
Oh wow. I almost tweeted #TweetFromTheBackOfACopCarTuesday but I didn't think it was that appropriate
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize
