he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
I don't think I can fit "I'm sorry for ruining Christmas" on one cake. Better make two.
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
Made eye contact with a friendly neighborhood dog walker while violently puking out the window. How's your Wednesday going?
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
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