I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
You should just skip the small talk from now on and instead say something like "You need to come slay the dragon, be here in 15?"
I woke up with my face covered in mustard. Your mom said I ate hotdogs like a pornstar
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
Randomize
