I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
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