Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
Who replies to a drunk text at 6am that's like against the rules of being a designated drunk text receiver
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
Randomize
