roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
Randomize
